The Lonesome Road

My grandmother passed away today.

I sit here, trying to let the words flow to take away some of the shock and disbelief. Even though I got the news early this morning, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact.

I know that in time acceptance will come, but in the interim it feels very hard to believe that someone who had so much energy is no more.

I miss her most in the small ways. Her snacks of toast and pickle. The way she would insist that my friends ate well - and try her best to stuff them. The special sweet that she would make just for me (no one made it like she did). I miss her boundless energy - she would be ready to roam all over Bombay - every day. Why? Just because she felt like it.

I miss the small things we shared : She would always pass me family news - including information about people I didn’t even know about just when I would be relaxing with a book. I would always tease her that I knew more songs of her generation than she did - I’d even play song openings are ask her to guess which song it was. She almost always did.

I’m going to miss her presence. Dignified, stong, and above all - fiercely independent.

My last conversation with her was on thursday night. And it went along lines long established.

G’Mom : Hello.
Me : Hi pati, it’s me. How are you?
G’mom : Have you eaten yet?

At that time I thought - some things will never change…

So, pati - let me end by saying Thank You. Believe me - I miss you a lot already - and I wish that I could have met you once more before I left India.

na jayate mriyate va kadacin
nayam bhutva bhavita va na bhuyah
ajo nityah sasvato ‘yam purano
na hanyate hanyamane sarire

For the soul there is never birth nor death. Nor, having once been, does he ever cease to be. He is unborn, eternal, ever-existing, undying and primeval. He is not slain when the body is slain.

Until we meet again…..