The Lonesome Road

This is not a public service message to encourage you to vote during local elections - but hey, go vote!

Anyway, this is more about the whole reality tv crap that has been going on forever. I’m pretty sure most of you know this, but for the few who don’t, more people voted during the American Idol season than during the Presidential election. And here’s the best part - they *paid* so that they could vote. Does it get dumber than this?

Anyway, here’s the part that always gets me. I was channel flipping yesterday and I came across “America’s Got Talent” and decided to stay awhile. (Well, it’s like the ghoul factor. You know, like people always stop to look if there is an accident). Don’t judge me! So, here’s the funny thing. The show was being broadcast live (?), the host kept reminding people to vote *after* the program got over. The really funny part was that even though this message was being repeat after every performance, people were still calling in before time. Now I do understand that you want your voice to be heard, but at least hear what the man has to say.

Now came the thing that really cracked me up. I’m currently watching a repeat telecast - and now after every act, there is a big orange bar with a large font message that says - “Previously recorded. Voting now closed” or something in that vein. How much do you want to bet that as of this minute there are people calling to vote for their favourite contestant?

I used to think that with the glut of reality TV shows that the whole voting thing would have become old by now. But it seems that I am wrong - and the phone and television compaines are making a lot of money with the whole game. Well, more power to them.

A wise man once said that Lottery is simply a tax on stupidity. Seems that times have changed…

I’m not a big TV fan. Seriously. Even in the US, where there are channels aplenty, there are very few shows/serials that I actually feel like watching. In fact, here is the (admittedly) short list of shows that I go out of my way to watch

1) Good Eats - This show is so good, it deserves it’s own post. Stay tuned for it

2) Iron Chef - The original series

3) Star Trek : TOS - I’ve talked enough about this show on previous posts.

4) Scrubs - Enough said

5) Seinfeld - There is just something about it that tickles me.

So, why the intro? People who see this list will see only one sitcom on it. Seinfeld. Why? Well, there is no real explanation for it. I have at one time or the other enjoyed sitcoms like That 70’s Show, Frasier and Becker. I still watch them if I am surfing and have nothing better to do. However, they don’t capture my attention anymore.

In my younger days (well, about 10 years back), when I was but a schoolboy, the STAR network had a channel called Star Plus. It was one of the only channels in India where you would get programming from the US and the UK. And the serials were old. Read old. Of course, that didn’t really bother me too much as I was too busy watching japanese robot cartoons. Ah the heady days of new anime

Of course, Star Plus also had an amazing line up of British comedies. These were seriously comedies. And I followed almost every one of them. Even now, I remember the line-up. Monday was Fawlty Towers, Tuesday was the amazingly funny “Mind Your Language” with Mr. Brown and his mixed bag of students. This was followed by my personal favourite- “‘Allo ‘Allo” on Wednesday with Renee the bartender, his french resistance contact Michelle (Listen very cahefully - I shell say zis only wence) and the “British” policeman (Good mourning. I have a massage for you”). Thursday was the loony “Are you being served” with Mr.Peacock and the garment sales department. It also featured Mrs. Slokum who had her hair (wig?) dyed a different colour for every show (though blue and pink were the most common).

You remember I wrote I remembered the line-up? Well, almost. I don’t remember now what used to come on friday. Oh well.

Later on, I was introduced to Coupling by Anshul and once again, I was simply hooked! It’s a brilliantly witty show. Just think of it as “Friends” - only with better characters, better plot lines, better punch lines and (definitely) better actors. Of course, the best part of the show was Jeff, and when he left after Season 3, the show wasn’t the same. Even so, the first 3 seasons were simply hilarious. And to turn it up a notch, there is another show making the rounds. It’s called “The IT Crowd” and it follows the life of the tech support staff in a company. Watch it - it’s well worth the 1/2 hour.

The reason I am writing about this is simple. My friends were using the comp and I was channel surfing. And then, on screen appeared Captain Peacock (from “Are You Being Served”) and I was thrilled. Then when I scanned onwards, I found that there was a two hour block of the show. I was in heaven - and a little scared. When you haven’t seen a show for nearly 10 years, there is a tendency towards nostalgia. The memories are seen through a rosy mist. I was a little worried that the show would not hold up to my memories of it. Boy, was I wrong. It was as funny - and kooky as ever. I had a great time.

I don’t really know why I prefer the British comedies (notice, I did not call them sitcoms. They are comedies) over American sitcoms. I suppose it’s primarily because the people who do the dialogue for the British shows are infinitely better than their american counterparts. The lines are crisp and make amazing use of the subtleties in the english language to create comedy. Also, the characters are definitely better etched in the British shows - and I think they have better casting teams as well. Whew! Overall, I think that brit comedies cater to both - people who want mindless comedies (you can enjoy these shows even if you switch off your brain) as well as those who like subtle humor (in the vein of Wodehouse). Most ameican shows cater only to the former. Of course, this is only a personal opinion. Feel free to disagree.

That’s all from me. Until next time - look out for the “Giggle loop” (It’s a Coupling reference)

I’m a big believer that books do not translate well into movies. Of course, you are free to reject this notion as it’s based only on my opinion.

However, here is my reasoning: One of the major advantages in a book is that there is no time limit for the author. This allows him/her to develop characters, explain motivations and generally move the plot along. Film makers however, do not have this luxury. They have to tell the story in the span of two hours. Combine this with the fact that the average attention span of a viewer is 0.75 seconds (feel free to debunk this figure), the movie makers are forced to move things along pretty quickly.

Secondly, an author is free to take time to explain the thought process that a character follows. This gives the reader a little more insight into the players in the story. This is really hard to do in a movie. I mean, come on - won’t it be odd if an off-screen voice tells us what a character is thinking as (s)he stares into space?

Anyway, coming back to the DVC, I picked it up from the library as a friend recommended it. I read through it and thought it was a bad book. I won’t say it stinks, but it’s not exactly the masterpiece it was recommended as. I though Robert Langdon was a weakly developed character, the monk (who was into pain) was plain boring and the plot “twist” totally predictable. Now, the only things that were half-decent in the book were the puzzles. The initial ones were easy enough, but after a while, I was so out of the book that the puzzles no longer interested me.

Now, I usually give an author two books to prove themselves. You know, just in case the first book was a stinker. For example, my first Stephen King book was Thinner. It was crappy. Then I read The Dark Tower and I was hooked. Anyway, all that aside, I read Angels and Demons. If anything, this book was even worse than the DVC. Dull, uninspired and wordy are the words that come into mind when I recall my reading. Oh and Mr.Langdon falls of a plane (or helicopter - don’t really remember - was on autopilot) and lands safely without a parachute. Talk about divine intervention.

When I heard they were making a movie on the book, I was aghast. As I said, a bad book translates into a really bad movie. And it seems that the critics agree. Almost all of them have panned the movie. The best review that I have read is from The New Yorker - you can read it here.

For those who do not want to read the whole thing, here are some snippets:

A dead Frenchman is found laid out on the floor of the Louvre. His final act was to carve a number of bloody markings into his own flesh, indicating, to the expert eye, that he was preparing to roll in fresh herbs and sear himself in olive oil for three minutes on each side.

Our hero, needing somebody to trust, does the same dumb thing that every fleeing innocent has done since Robert Donat in “The Thirty-nine Steps.” He and Sophie visit a cheery old duffer in the countryside and spill every possible bean.

There is also Silas (Paul Bettany), a cowled albino monk whose hobbies include self-flagellation, multiple homicide, and irregular Latin verbs. He works for Opus Dei, the Catholic organization so intensely secretive that its American headquarters are tucked away in a seventeen-story building on Lexington Avenue.

As a rule, you should beware of any movie in which characters utter lines of dialogue whose proper place is on the advertising poster. (Just imagine Sigourney Weaver, halfway through “Alien,” turning to John Hurt and explaining, “In space, no one can hear you scream.”)

From now on, such penance will be simple—no lashings, no spiked cuff around the thigh. Just the price of a movie ticket, and two and a half hours of pain.

Anyway, you get the drift. I will stop here. Of course, this has not stopped the general public from flocking to the theatres and spending a whole load of money on the movie. Enough money to allow the studios to claim that the DVC is the “most popular movie - Worldwide”. I leave you, constant reader figure out how true their claims are.

In other news, Omen is being remade. I’m a big fan of good horror movies. I really liked the Omen as there is no blood and gore in the movie and there is a gradual escalation of terror throughout the movie. Awesome it was. Well, let us see what they do with the remake. I am scared..very scared

That’s all from me for now. Later all!